Homosexuals Love Iced Tea

There was a day a ways back when I was socializing too much, incorporating lots of whiskey into my daily regiment, and thought the best thing I should do is take the night off. With that in mind I thought I’d enjoy a delicious non-alcoholic drink on the couch since all I ever have is water in my house. Plus, I was out of smokes. A full pack of cigarettes is always a necessary piece of the puzzle if planning to lay on the couch all night watching movies so I mustered up some energy and began my massive trek to the corner store located, conveniently, right at the corner of my block. I walked into the store and headed towards the back to choose my beverage. 

As I entered, I passed a group of 15- or 16-year old boys bunched up towards the front by the counter. As I stood in front of the drink cooler, deciding on what I will sip on, I heard Yo, my nigga! numerous times and hectic laughter wafting throughout the store.  I decided on an Arizona Iced Tea can, Lemon Tea if you are keeping score, and headed to the counter to pay for my drink and grab some cigarettes. I was not paying any attention to the young group until I heard one shout:

Arizona Iced Tea. Fucking Faggot.

I looked down at my delicious, refreshing can of iced tea in my hand and realized they were talking about me! Since there was someone in front me paying the cashier I had to stand there, mere feet from this group of 15- and 16-year-olds most likely looking for a fight, and act like I did not hear them. No, No, No you must not be talking to I for I am not a homosexual but rather a young man looking to quench his thirst! As I waited to start my transaction with the store clerk the group erupted in laughter when they called me a fucking faggot but I was confused as to why they called me a fucking faggot. Was it because of my choice of beverage? Are homosexuals known for drinking copious amounts of iced tea after a raging cock orgy? I was confused. I was not wearing anything faggy. I was in jeans and t-shirt and my t-shirt was not pink, too tight or had any phrase like, The Cockfather on it – it was a plain shirt. I was just so put off that he chose to call me a faggot because I was drinking Arizona Iced Tea. I am perfectly comfortable being a heterosexual white male living in Crown Heights and have absolutely nothing against anyone who is homosexual but it hurts my feeling that a delicious beverage was associated with such a nasty word.