NYC Subway

I am lucky that I do not need to ride the subway on a daily basis.  I am grateful I can ride my bike or drive to work only a short distance away. Unfortunately I was riding the subway during morning rush hour the other day and the train was beyond crowded. The amount of people, all scrambling to get on the next train, overwhelmed me. I decided to let the first train go by without even attempting to get on. I thought to myself there is a small chance the next train would be less crowded.
The next train quickly arrived and it was just as crowded as the first one that departed from the station only minutes earlier. It felt like there were now even more people on the platform all clamoring to get on the train than before. In front of me on the platform was a man, probably in his late 40’s with a shoulder bag and graying hair determined to get on the train that just pulled up. He was pushing the people who crammed into the pack train car, aggressively trying to make room where there was none. It was clear that he was forcing his way onto the train and that he was going to get on even if he was going to crush all the people around him. His aggressive behavior and complete disregard for everyone around him upset me and it was then when I thought something and it just came flying out of my mouth. I had no intention of saying anything but it just kind of slid out, escaping my mind and letting everyone hear what I was thinking. As this guy was pushing his way onto the train I blurted out loud, almost at a shouting level. Push, Motherfucker! Push! Keep in mind that there so many people surrounding me on the platform who had been denied entrance to the train in front of us and now forced to wait for the next train to arrive. The people, right in front of me, crammed onto the train, being crushed my the asshole forcing his way onto the train shot a look of shock and confusion at me. They all had that did-he-just-say-that look on their faces. The people on the platform looked up from their newspapers and books and wondered if they were unknowingly standing next to a crazy person. After I shouted at the pushing motherfucker, people waited for the man to respond or for me to continue shouting insults. They looked at me, then at the pushing motherfucker, then back to me. It felt like they were waiting to see what who was going to make the next move. Well, he did not shoot back some verbal defense or even tell me to fuck off. He did not say one word to me. All he did was just turn around with a massive grin on his face as if to tell me he enjoyed pushing the people on the train! Yeah, I’m pushing. I’m an asshole and you can’t do anything about it because I will be on this train headed down the tracks and you’ll be stuck on the platform. I had no intentions to shout what I did at this man but once it came flying out of my mouth there was a feeling of satisfaction. All of us were watching this dick push his way onto a crowded train and, because of some flaw in my brain, I was the one standing up to him by shouting what I did! I thought that I would be the hero! I would be the subject of people’s stories when they walked into their office. You should have heard this guy on my way to work this morning! For a brief moment I thought I was standing up for all the commuters out there who deal with bullshit everyday but do not voice how they really feel. Once that guy shot me that creepy grin I immediately knew that was not the case. When this guy turned around what that wild-eyed, all teeth showing, grin on his face I knew I lost. It was clear he would not drop his head and admit he was being rude to the ones around him.  I knew he would not stop what he was doing and apologize for his actions and explain how he did not know what got into him to act the way that he did. No, he had full intentions of being an asshole. He knew he was a motherfucker that did not give a shit if he was pushing or not and I was the guy that shouts curse words at strangers at 7:30 A.M.